I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
