My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
