dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize