I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
