If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A bitchslap is in order.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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