Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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