I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
