I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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