can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
