She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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