if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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