Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Drake has all the answers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
