It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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