are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
