Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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