I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drake has all the answers
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
