Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
