Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show