Texts From Last Night

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  (863): View more from Florida

  I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

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  (863): I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car. http://tfl.nu/95eu
  Replies (27) Good night (5940) Bad night (622)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

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  (630): we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple http://tfl.nu/8ojo
  Replies (60) Good night (813) Bad night (6190)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

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  (859): this weekend will be like the season finale to my life http://tfl.nu/589p
  Replies (22) Good night (4126) Bad night (886)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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  (405): Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/ox2k
  Replies (13) Good night (694) Bad night (4246)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

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  (267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1
  Replies (29) Good night (5267) Bad night (1511)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.

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  (678): When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick. http://tfl.nu/i6to
  Replies (23) Good night (6079) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad

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  (808): i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad http://tfl.nu/nkw9
  Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (1455)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.

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  (724): Sat down on an escalator. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/nzjv
  Replies (6) Good night (1626) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.

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  (415): I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS. http://tfl.nu/cwy1
  Replies (7) Good night (1054) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur

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  (831): Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur http://tfl.nu/smm5
  Replies (2) Good night (916) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent

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  (404): Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent http://tfl.nu/17u7
  Replies (0) Good night (902) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.

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  (912): It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time. http://tfl.nu/lxl4
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.

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  (+61): I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/lq2i
  Replies (1) Good night (205) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.

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  (252): You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am. http://tfl.nu/kiqx
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

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  (505): The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house" (703): Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend http://tfl.nu/7dd6
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (275)

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