hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth