Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.

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  (517): he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night. (231): better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you. http://tfl.nu/vawi
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (1936)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?

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  (404): he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again? http://tfl.nu/cny9
  Replies (13) Good night (781) Bad night (5472) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"

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  (305): What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?" http://tfl.nu/3mlg
  Replies (8) Good night (796) Bad night (3642) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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  (716): I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean http://tfl.nu/rm0w
  Replies (17) Good night (1314) Bad night (2595) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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  (517): Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school.... http://tfl.nu/i9vj
  Replies (15) Good night (5389) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.

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  (262): Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life. http://tfl.nu/enlv
  Replies (14) Good night (916) Bad night (2966) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES

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  (347): GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES http://tfl.nu/oz7x
  Replies (2) Good night (1621) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

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  (913): Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry. http://tfl.nu/57v9
  Replies (3) Good night (2451) Bad night (701) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.

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  (209): He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding. http://tfl.nu/0fze
  Replies (7) Good night (396) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.

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  (813): Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier. http://tfl.nu/oqez
  Replies (8) Good night (1820) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...

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  (250): We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID... http://tfl.nu/i2zd
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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  (703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq
  Replies (7) Good night (1614) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.

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  (813): IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY. http://tfl.nu/73q8
  Replies (15) Good night (626) Bad night (1206)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (200) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"

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  (310): I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine" http://tfl.nu/hod3
  Replies (6) Good night (649) Bad night (243) Order T-Shirt

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