Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.

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(920): I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on. http://tfl.nu/vax8

Replies (15) Good night (3615) Bad night (685)
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(619): View more from California

I'm passing your future prison.

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(619): I'm passing your future prison. http://tfl.nu/j7g6

Replies (15) Good night (4433) Bad night (1107)
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(817): View more from Texas

You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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(817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz

Replies (15) Good night (5414) Bad night (1492)
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(480): View more from Arizona

he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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(480): he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is http://tfl.nu/i6zj

Replies (13) Good night (2884) Bad night (1737)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.

(864): View more from South Carolina

And I meant every ounce of it.

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(978): You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands. (864): And I meant every ounce of it. http://tfl.nu/062o

Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (2330)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg

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(612): I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg http://tfl.nu/y2s5

Replies (3) Good night (1856) Bad night (677)
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(519): View more from Ontario

sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.

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(519): sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass. http://tfl.nu/vgdt

Replies (5) Good night (2635) Bad night (913)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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(617): I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night" http://tfl.nu/srds

Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (814)
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(407): View more from Florida

Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

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(407): Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore. http://tfl.nu/4mr1

Replies (23) Good night (2401) Bad night (1034)
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(972): View more from Texas

I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

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(972): I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy. http://tfl.nu/nung

Replies (14) Good night (2388) Bad night (627)
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(443): View more from Maryland

i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.

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(443): i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died. http://tfl.nu/tald

Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (1192)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.

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(724): I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters. http://tfl.nu/g29w

Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (603)
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(512): View more from Texas

my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

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(512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2

Replies (2) Good night (944) Bad night (445)
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(616): View more from Michigan

2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

(616): View more from Michigan

2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.

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(616): 2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll. (616): 2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll. http://tfl.nu/3aiz

Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (485)
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(207): View more from Maine

But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..

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(207): But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life.. http://tfl.nu/emx1

Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (261)

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