Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.