No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.