i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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