I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
