Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
