he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
