I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize