He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
