Nicole vs. Life
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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