escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
