I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
