Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize