Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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