he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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