Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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