wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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