I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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