birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
