my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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