wanna go halves on a baby?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
