The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
