her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
