so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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