that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
