I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
