coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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