I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
