I faked an abortion last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
