The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
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It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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