Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
