it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
