My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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