Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
