We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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