Even the bartender felt bad for me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
