I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
