belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
