How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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