he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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