FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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