i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
