Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
