Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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