Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
