I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.