I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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