I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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