I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
