and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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