the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another