Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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