I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?